A Divide is the separation between the way things are, and the way you want them to be.
Exacerbated by people disagreeing with both.
Crossing Divides begins with ... Divides.
Divides crack open when a desire for change runs into difficulty and disagreement.
Difficulty and disagreement produce negative emotions — such as confusion, irritation, boredom, disgust, fear, frustration, resentment, disdain, guilt, shame, anger, etc.
Disagreement divides, and Divides are unpleasant.
Retreating from Divides avoids negative emotions while remaining trapped by them.
Venturing ahead exacerbates negative emotions.
Which generate negative thoughts. A story is told. Which heightened emotions push towards action.
Which, having originated from negativity (and fantasy arising from negativity), leads to trouble ... and more negativity.
Crossing Divides and not Crossing Divides are identical up to this point. Then they diverge. Not Crossing Divides stays stuck in place. Builds pressure until eventually it explodes. Crossing Divides relieves pressure and expands — into new territory. Where life gets interesting.
To relieve pressure, groups begin by participants being asked to agree to a simple set of groundrules. (It is well established fact that everyone relaxes when confronted by rules.)
Talk freely, participate fully, allow others to do the same
- Speak when you have something to say
- Say it succinctly — then yield the floor
- Slow down — let there be time to think
Listen carefully
- Keep an open mind
- Ask questions
- Try to understand
Keep it friendly
- Help everyone feel safe and welcome
Say if something isn’t working for you
- Give the group time to adjust
Expect imperfection
- Be patient — with yourself, and the group
Respect confidentiality
- What is said in the room, stays in the room
Most groups agree to these groundrules, while others choose to change them. Either way is fine.
On with the discussion — with occasional assistance translating between different ways of thinking.
A Divide is the space between different ways of thinking.
Crossing Divides fills this space with fresh ideas.
A light touch, so discussions proceed naturally.